And Now...

[porphyry]

...just to add the icing to this illness-brother hospitalization-illness-ice storm-illness-snowstorm-disrupted classes due to cancellations-icestorm-illness-car wreck-injured child-injured mother-snowstorm-four plagiarist students this term cake--

... my cat died.

I suppose I should take the long, philosophical view. He was sixteen-years-old, almost seventeen, so he'd had a long, happy life. Three or four days ago, I noticed he'd stopped eating and drinking, never good in a cat (or dog, either). He would be tempted by nothing, and nothing is more pitiful than to watch an animal try to take a drink--want to take a drink, badly--and be unable to. He didn't appear to be in pain, but I couldn't take watching him like this anymore. Today he went to the veterinarian and we learned his kidneys were shutting down. We let him go.

He was a sweet cat--more like a dog than a cat, actually; friendly, affectionate, faithful even. We will miss him very much.

Comments

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your condolences; I knew you'd understand how sad I am, being cat lovers yourselves. And my cats are (or were, I should say, since now they are all gone; this cat was part of what was once a trio).

His name? If you'll permit me a story about him...

He was a shelter kitten, the one I never meant to get since I already had two cats. But a friend of mine was a big supporter of this animal shelter, and for Christmas that year (1991), she gave me a gift certificate for the pet of my choice from the shelter.

When I got to the shelter, the day after Christmas, there were of course no kittens left, except one. No one wanted him because he had a bad cold--but God, he was cute! And so friendly--the minute I picked him up I was charmed.

Once home, we weren't sure what to name him because first of all, he'd been wrongly gendered at the shelter--his cage said "female." Once home, though, I was holding him and rubbing his tummy and saw that he was in fact a male. We tried out a few names, but none seemed to fit. One early characteristic he displayed, though, was that he would eat anything.

Now, there is an old cartoon made by Tex Avery in which the Confederate Wolf inherits a little billy goat who eats anything--finally, the wolf becomes so exasperated with the goat, he sets the billy goat to eating a railroad tie which will send the goat miles away and hopefully for good. That night, though, the little goat is back. The wolf says, "Why, look, everybody, it's Billy! Ole Billy's back!"

So this kitten, who would eat anything, one day in an attempt to get a bite of something my father was eating, decided after my father turned away to prevent the kitten from doing so, to scale all the way up my father's back and onto his shoulder so he could get whatever was going into my father's mouth, too. My father just turned to us and said, "Why, look, everybody, it's Billy! Ole Billy's back!" And the name, Billy, just sort of stuck. Not a very dignified name for a cat, but it suited him.

Thanks for listening to my story--God, I miss that cat so much already.

[leopold-paula-b.livejournal.com]

Billy the Kat, that's sweet.

Sorry about your loss.

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

Thank you. (tears) Such a sweet little guy, he was.

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

It was a rather weird name, but it did fit him well. Oh, yes, we'll get one (I want two) soon; we want a male and female, siblings perhaps, and Andrew has approved of the name Sylvia for a female but we haven't decided on a male name yet.

No, one never hears of cats named Steve, and usually not Geoff, but I know of a cat named Joeffry--this poem was written by Christopher Smart in approximately 1760 while Smart was confined to an insane asylum. He was a good observer of cats, however.

http://www.cs.rice.edu/~ssiyer/minstrels/poems/661.html

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

In the first paragraph I meant to say "My cats are like children to me." :( Not thinking too well; sorry.

[petrusplancius.livejournal.com]

So sorry to hear that; I lost a much-loved cat at just that age for just that reason a few years back, so I appreciate how you feel.

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Was your cat a male? We were told it's more common for male cats to develop kidney trouble in their old age (although he was classified as "geriatric"--in human years, he was about 84) and for females to develop thyroid problems which ultimately is what caused our female cats to die.

We shall miss him, though.

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

P.S. Well, at least I have my immortal parakeet to console me. :) Cranky old bird. And a beagle, who is cute but dumb.

[petrusplancius.livejournal.com]

Yes, a male; he had had kidney problems for some time, but they had been kept at bay for a while by means of a special diet.

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

Billy had had ongoing kidney problems, too--his creatine levels always measured high (I think that's the indicator for kidney trouble), and we, too, fed him a special diet for a number of years. Perhaps this trouble is really more common among male cats.

[norda.livejournal.com]

I can see why that would be the "icing" on a horrid "cake" of events. I'm sorry you're going through this.

And yes, unfortunately, it's very common for male cats to just "shut down" with kidney disease, like your Billy. Our Phinneas went the same way, four years ago.

Your heartbreak is very understandable.

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I am heartbroken because my pets are like my own babies. And Billy was an especially affectionate cat--he was part Maine Coon which gave him that sweet temperament the breed is known for... now I'm tearing up again.

Phinneas--what a cute name for a cat!

[norda.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry for your tears. They'll be with you a while.

I've been trying to lay my hands on a quote I'd read, which touched on our choice to spend our lives with fellow creatures whose lifespans are far shorter than our own, but the richness of experience with which they gift us makes it worthwhile.

Michael and I are only just feeling "up to" looking around for another cat, or preferably two sibling cats, to take in and care for, after so long.

[And thanks for friending me back. I've been reading this journal since the days when the malkhos account and the empousa account were separate.]

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

Well thank you! Who would have imagined that anyone would remember the empousa account?

I suppose we never friended you because in our distraction we never noticed your posting here; its usually completely beyond either of us to actually check our profile or anything. perhaps we should to see who else is reading.

[filialucis]

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that, and I know exactly how you feel. *hugs* My beloved Siamese baby went almost exactly the same way at the finish, and at exactly the same age too -- six weeks short of her 17th birthday. She'd been kidney-ish for a couple of weeks before she just stopped eating and drinking; by the evening of that day she was vomiting every few minutes with nothing but a bit of white foam coming up.

As she'd always been hysterical about cars I got the vet to make a house call. She went to sleep in her basket and never woke up again.

It's been ten years and I still choke up a bit when I write about it. Like Billy, she was very affectionate; used to follow me around like a dog and actually learned to walk in the direction I was pointing my finger, and jump into her basket when I told her to. I still miss her. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much. I'm tearing up again, too, because it always amazes me how many people who adore their cats the way I did mine understand what a great loss it is to lose so beloved a pet.

I wanted Billy to just die peacefully at home, too, the way my female cats, his "siblings" had, but after four days of watching him like that, I couldn't watch it anymore. He could barely walk without toppling over, and it just broke my heart. But bless his little heart, each time I'd gently pick him up and try to comfort him, he'd perk up a little and purr.

I had a Siamese when I was a child, Ming Tai, but he only loved me... he terrorized everybody else. I wonder if that's common for Siamese cats to bond with only one person?

[filialucis]

I have no idea. I only ever had one Siamese, and she was Siamese more or less by accident (her mother was the charming black-and-white alley cat that lived next door, and the four other kittens in the litter were all black, white, or combinations of black and white), so her temperament may not be perfectly representative of the breed. She did bond most strongly with me, but loved everyone else in the family too. My father travels a lot as part of his work, and every time he came back home after a spell away, she'd go and sit on the floor in front of him and purr at him.

She was almost pathologically shy with non-family members, though, and would typically run and hide at the mere sound of an unfamiliar voice. Terrorising, no. Unsociable except to family, yes. :)

[benicek.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid we are gerbils and we are afraid of cats, even dead ones.

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

You can always make me laugh! And, gosh, I sure do appreciate that right now, more than you know.

Now, gerbils, Billy was a very friendly cat and wouldn't have harmed a hair on your heads. Likely he would have tried to just play with you! But of course you are so small, it's natural to be afraid of cats, even friendly ones.

[calizen.livejournal.com]

Big hugs to you on the loss of Billy, but than you for retelling his story of how he came to be with you and how he got his name. My cats are like my own children. There's nothing more amazing to me that being able to transcend the species barrier, to see that soul inside your cat bonding with your own. People who haven't experienced a special relationship with an animal have no idea that pure gut feeling that this tie gives. I know I'm glad to have experienced it with my cats, but oh man! it hurts when they have to go!

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

Every pet I've ever owned, I've always transcended that barrier with them; got to know their souls... and so grieve the great loss one does when its gone. I know you understand.

[bricology.livejournal.com]

So sorry to hear this. Cats are so tied to us, and it's so hard when they are no longer there. I know too well how you must feel; I had to make the same decision a few years ago for my cat who had heart disease. It was the most painful thing I've ever gone through. Sorry that I don't have more to offer than my sympathy. Take care of each other.

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

It was a hard decision, but years ago, the best vet we ever had (who himself has passed away), told us: "You do this because you love them, not because you don't." But still, it is hard; I know you can understand how I feel because you've been through it, too. Your sympathy means a lot, and I do appreciate it.

I miss my little Billy Bear, though; as hectic as our lives are, it's so odd not have him following me around, coming to me because he just wanted to picked up and pet... the house seems empty without him.

[sombersigh.livejournal.com]

I am sorry about your troubles lately - and on top of this the loss of your beloved cat. But you will always have the memories of him, though I know these are are hardly comforting words as to how you feel now. You are in my thoughts, dear Lady.

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

They are comforting, dear. I really do appreciate your kind thoughts.

And that's why, really, I haven't been saying much in reply to your lovely (as always) posts; I just have much going on right now... but I always look!

Thank you, this is how I picture you as a mother - strong yet tender

[sombersigh.livejournal.com]

Hang in there, darling!

Re: Thank you, this is how I picture you as a mother - strong yet tender

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

Thank you again. That's a very beautiful sculpture. I am touched.

Oh, and I'll hang in there. I have all my friends here to help me, too. :)