The Disagreements Re-Commence

[porphyry]

Even though I am only twelve weeks pregnant and my constant fear is losing the baby--once I got over the shock of it since nature really fooled me--I still gradually came to be happy with the idea despite the constant fatigue, nausea, and Madeline's "you're-not-pregnant" denials. Today, the baby had a nice, strong heartbeat and Dr. Dalla Riva said, "You're not going to lose this baby." While I know there are no guarantees in this world, I also know what a good sign that is, medically. I also know that the fatigue and sickness will disappear in a few weeks, and I have hope that Madeline's petulance will also dissipate, the little minx.

But a new battle is looming, and that is what to name this child. Malkhos and I argued and disagreed for months on end, with Andrew especially, until I finally had to resort to having a crying fit as we filled out Andrew's birth certificate. Yes, it was a feminine ploy to get my way, but if I hadn't resorted to it, Andrew could be named Ferdinand, or Felix, or Carl Philipp Maria. There were more, all equally--ah, unusual--but you must understand, I only had one goal in mind: "I don't want him getting beat up at school every day."

But it's starting again. This morning, Malkhos said, "Mithrodates" or something like that, and then thought maybe "Apollonius" would be good to my jokingly suggesting "Lycius," and while I would never name a child Lycius, he would name one Apollonius.

It just makes me too tired to think what kind of strategy I'm going to have to employ to get something normal like Daniel or Anthony or some such.

Comments

[med_cat]

Agreed regarding "original" names...I once had a patient with a first name of Shaloski...

Take care :)

[majolika.livejournal.com]

Everything is better than Felix. Astyanax Odin Goldmund Malkhos would be miles better than Felix. Felix is a terrible name.

[vonjunzt.livejournal.com]

Enough of your feminine whining. Getting beat up every day will teach the boy character. Haven't you ever heard "A Boy Named Sue?"

And anyway, Mithridates was awesome.

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

And its not like I was even pushing for Eupator.

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

Fooey. I knew you'd be on his side. :)

[benicek.livejournal.com]

'Lycius' would be great. 'Lice' for short.

[petrusplancius.livejournal.com]

My father was named Launcelot (though no one ever called him that, let alone 'Lance') and my uncle was called Hereward; the story went that my grandfather picked the names out of a hat, but then he probably put in names like Assurbanipal etc., being a scholarly and otherworldly man. Unusual names, especially if they sound pretentious, can be a real source of misery to a child, and it is altogether possible that in the long run he or she (the problem is worse with boys) will simply avoid using it. I am all in favour of bringing a bit of colour into the world, but I do think this is something that one needs to be exceedingly wary about.

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

The one I am thinking of is Carl Philipp. However evocative of the German Baroque it is, I don't think Carl is likely to scar.

[petrusplancius.livejournal.com]

Slightly unusual, at least in these parts, but pleasantly so.

[karinmollberg.livejournal.com]

Those kind of names are perfectly fine and btw still much in use in certain families in catholic Franconia but if I may say so, may cause trouble all the same if the first name consists of two (Carl and Phillip) or more names. My "Ex" (both short and concise an epithet but not recommended) has that kind of a name and I can only assure you that he even at the age of over forty still has to explain to anyone from colleagues to authorities how both names are the first name and can not be shortened to just one as little as his other seven varieties can be omitted from official papers. In school, it was obviously not so much other kids who teased but still got to know his fists well since he was luckily good at sports but actually teachers who deliberately spelt his name wrongly and called him anything but his real names. & yes; he beat them all up (by being an A-student;)
In short: it can be tedious long after childhood is gone and over to have a name (or several) that one constantly has to explain everywhere and to absolutely everyone (I remember that feeling about my own middle ages variety that I loved and still don´t want people to fuzz with). Since a first name (or names) is a very intimate thing one identifies with and normally stay(s) with one for the rest of life, it can make someone feel as if you were only allowed to exist after a written explanation as to who you think you are, if you see what I mean? But, then, if the real name sounds way too strange it´s soon replaced by a nickname anyway;)

[clodia-metelli.livejournal.com]

Ohhhh, should have kept reading. Good luck!

[filialucis]

Mithridates? Apollonius? Is he actually serious? I thought he was joking when he posted that poll.

I imagine Monsieur Malkhos' real name is commonplace enough that he was never tormented for it as a child, and thus he has no frame of reference for what it's like to have a weird name. All I had was a last name that was unpronounceably foreign, but that was quite enough for viciously creative little minds to latch onto and milk for all it was worth. Not fun at all, and I hate to think what it'd have been like to be stuck with a daft first name like the ones he's suggesting. Bottom line: Unless you are actually TRYING to scar your child for life, don't even think about giving it a ridiculously exotic name. Not because yours was too ordinary, not out of academic pretentiousness, and most certainly not because "it'll make him feel different". (I had a female English teacher at school whose father gave her a boy's name for that reason. All he achieved was to demonstrate for the entire duration of his daughter's life, and even to people who never met him, that he was bloody stupid.)

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

I don't imagine tormenting over names goes on much anymore. Half of the children in Andrew's class have a name that consists of strings of nonsense syllables entire free of etymology or allusion. I was named after my father and he in turn after one of the leading WW II generals. The name isn't Omar.

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

Yes, Malkhos's real name is common, so he couldn't possibly know what a cause of grief it can be. I have a common name too, but I well recall how those who had names that seemed to be based on the whim of parents who really didn't think about what they were doing were teased and tormented, and I vowed I would never, ever do that to any child of mine. It's hard enough being a child without giving other children reasons to torment you.

Poll or no poll, I will vanquish him. :)

[filialucis]

This thread is jogging loose some very old memories. When I started school one of the girls in my class was named Guru. Her parents were Norwegian, IIRC, but I have no idea whether the name is actually a common girl's name in Norway or whether the parents had overdosed on the Sixties a shade too much.

Another girl was called Binta. Which is somewhat unfortunate in an English-speaking country. Her parents were expat Germans, but I've never come across another occurrence of that name even in the German-speaking world.

One year above me there was an Antigone and an Undine. People are weird.

[karinmollberg.livejournal.com]

My brother had a norwegian commilitone at the RTU of Stockholm who changed his name because his IT-career aim was the U.S. and the prospect of having to say: "Nice to meet you, I am Odd" did not seem prosperous enough to him. His first name is perfectly normal and not odd at all in Norway (a strange place;) so Guru may be (normal, I mean) too, for all I know (I don´t). Normal germans, however, don´t call a girl Binta. My classmate Attila was only regularly beaten up by his own father and consequently beat up all the other boys at school before they could even start teasing him about living up to his name.

[niyabinghi.livejournal.com]

Hang in there, those first weeks of nauseousness *do* pass; I recall keeping boxes of Saltine crackers stashed everywhere, work, the car, upstairs and down of my house.

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

I know. It just seems, however, to have gone on so long... today during a meeting I didn't think I'd be able to get through it without making a dash for the bathroom, but I managed it.

[karinmollberg.livejournal.com]

If it´s a boy, just don´t name him Sue!

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

Oh, I won't. :)