Guilt or Victory?

[porphyry]

One of Madeline's interests of late is to go into my walk-in closet and explore. It's interesting how Malkhos and I interpret this activity differently.

"She'll just go in there and wreak havoc," he tells me.

"Oh, let her explore," I say.

"She'll only leave a swath of destruction in her wake," he predicts ominously.

"Your militarized language is a bit excessive," I reply.

This morning, as soon as Madeline went into the closet, Malkhos shooed her out, which sent her to me, crying (faked); she somehow knows I'll give in but the trade-off for me is she'll actually let me hold and hug her while I comfort her in her pretend despair.

Once her tears subsided, I let her go back into the closet, knowing too that this would predicate one of Malkhos's unmitigated disaster assessments.

"See? See?" he says, pointing at something I can't even see through the wall.

I go into the closet and he points to several empty hangers from which she's pulled off the clothes. She's also opened drawers and half-emptied them, so I start putting the clothes back where they belong. In the meantime, Malkhos picks up an empty hanger that's snapped in two.

"What should I do with this?" he says. "Should I spank her?"

"No spanking," I say, the thought being too close to Mommie Dearest for my comfort. "Throw it away. No, wait, keep it for a minute. Go show it to her."

"Why? So she can gloat over her victory?" he says, using that military analogy again.

"No, silly; so she'll develop a conscience and feel bad that's she's broken my hanger," I say.

"She won't unless you spank her," he said.

"Chrissakes, I'm not spanking her over it! Give it to me. I'll make her feel guilty about it. That's a mother's province anyway."

Comments

[himmapaan.livejournal.com]

*Whispers* I'm inclined to agree with you on showing her the broken hanger...

*Hides from Malkhos*

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

You don't need to hide--he always defers to my, shall we say, queenly dictates, and I'm a rather beneficient protector. Besides, where have you been hiding? Well, we were worried, but now we see you're still about, so that's all that matters.

I think children need to explore and be creative--exploring is a form of creativity, after all; he thinks they need to be orderly and rational. From a practical perspective, that's impossible at her age. I didn't even have the heart to lay a guilt trip on her, either--see? a beneficient and kind protector.

Malkhos asks me what I'd do if she took her "rainbow"--that's what she calls it, but really it's the arm of her and Andrew's former crib mobile, long disassembled by their antics--and smashed up my beloved Royal Doulton pieces, of which I have only a few. "Throw it away, I guess. Maybe yell a little bit. Probably blame you for not watching her closely enough." :)

[himmapaan.livejournal.com]

Hehe...

I'm afraid I have been hiding from LJ somewhat. I haven't kept up with friends' entries either, unfortunately. I came across this in a random skim, if you will...

But I'm very touched that you've been concerned. :) Thank you.

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

Doing all right, I hope?

my Narnia

[benicek.livejournal.com]

I used to love doing that when I was a child. Getting out all the long-abandoned out-of-fashion shoes from the dark dusty depths, and unrolling the fragrant leather belts.

Re: my Narnia

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

I did too--it is like Narnia, rather; opens up a new little world to the child.

By the way, have you taken your camping holiday to France yet?

[siamhussein.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't worry, Malkhos. Little search and destroy missions don't usually target command and control infrastructure. They're just probes to test readiness. You might have a care to secure any high value targets (HVTs) in case your adversary has enough initiative to make decisions without the accord of higher echelons. Adopt a stability and support operating posture, deploy your forces to ensure freedom of movement, and everything should take care of itself before the next monsoon.

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

Well, you know the damage commando raids can do.

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

Well, she isn't nearly so well-trained as a commando; she's more like a guerilla, a little peasant uprising, targeted at nothing and for no particular reason except her own sense of oppression.

[leopold-paula-b.livejournal.com]

When in K. I remembered your assertion about making kids feel guilty being a mother's province. From my experience as a son, as a friend of people with mums and as a teacher, it's rather embarrassement mums are aiming at. Successfully in most cases, but not in a terrible way. :-)

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

A little friendly humiliation never did anybody any permanent harm. :) I should know; I went to Catholic school for nine years.