Truth vs. Manners

[porphyry]

Well, it's happened.

I was shopping this evening with the children. Andrew observed a young woman in the aisle across from us. She had hair that had been dyed all the colors of the rainbow and multiple facial piercings. He stared at her.

"You look nuts," he said to her.

I was embarrassed. Malkhos was proud.

Comments

[leopold-paula-b.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't worry. He's still very young after all. Also he's very bright. His brains will keep developing brilliant and clear thoughts. No doubt he'll find that there is a difference between appearances and character. (On the other hand: If the girl made herself up like "a complete freak", then of course that's a very loud statement. Why shouldn't he answer to it? Alright: here "manners" come in. Hmmm... a tricky topic altogether.)

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

Yes, well, obviously the young woman was making a statement about herself by her appearance, one that I would never trouble myself to figure out what statement, exactly; but to a child who thinks in simpler terms ("What I know and recognize" as opposed to "What I don't know and recognize"), the problem does become one of civility which conflicts with his assessment that what he thought and said was wrong. How to explain to a four-year-old that his assessment of what is true is wrong, not because the assessment was wrong but just simply his stating it out loud?

I'm not too worried about him yet. I was able to successfully manage to convince him that one only uses curse words at home. (Altogether my fault, I might add. :)