Fat Females

In von Doderer’s The Demons one chapter is devoted to notes taken by von Schlagenberg in pursuit of his hobby of meeting and seducing Fat Females (as he calls them) through contacts via newspaper advertisements. As I used to pursue the same hobby (but without such copious documentation—and yes in the days before the internet), I will quote a brief excerpt:

Vilma: Cowlike. Enormous specimen; vital statistics can hardly be estimated. Husband in prominent position. Stupendously ignorant. Did not know who Mozart was, associated the name only with a pastry. (Mozart torte). Measurement here at my place shortly; she has already been here…

I actually dated this same woman, but I did not progress to the point of taking her back to ‘my place.’ She was far too much in every way (even about six feet four inches tall). I had the impression she would have gone with anyone who did not openly mock her; I confess I mocked here with some subtly, but to this she was totally oblivious.