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Oct. 29th, 2011 09:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
porphyryTwo habits collided recently. One is, the Augustulus is turning out to be much more wild during his bath than either Andrew or Madeline ever were as babies. Instead of just lying there quietly while I wash his hair, and then sitting in the sink peacefully while I bathe his body, as they did, the Augustulus attempts to flip over ceaselessly while his hair is getting washed and then flops about so during the bathing part that I can hardly keep him from flipping out onto the floor. It's frightening. And I thought Madeline's "no fear" motto was bad.
I happened to mention this to my mother-in-law, which brings me to habit two. She is a compulsive buyer. So one day, I get this message my cell phone: "Rita, this is Mary. You need to tell Malkhos to stop yelling at me just because I bought something for the baby!" Then she hung up.Later, I asked him about it. Apparently, she had called him to tell him she'd made a purchase; namely, something for me to bathe the baby in. The conversation went something like this. She said she had bought something she was not well able to describe that was supposed to fit into the bathtub, but, although the dimensions of the thing must have been printed in the catalog from which she ordered it, she had told us nothing about it so that we could match the dimensions (or not) to the actual tub. Malkhos pointed out that this mystery could well be completely useless and moreover, since it seemed to have walls, he referred to it as Mystery Babylon. This is what must been what offended her and prompted her to leave the aforesaid message on my cell phone.Now this odd phrase occurs in the book of Revelation at 17:5. It describes the great whore who has written on her forehead, "mysterion, Babulon h megale, h meter ton pornon." This means something like: she has written on her forehead a riddle, [and the text of the riddle is] Babylon the Great, the mother of Harlots. The mysterion is that Babylon is used as a symbol for Rome, since the purpose of the book is to denounce the Roman Empire as an evil, tyrannical state, something Roman authorities might have objected to if said openly. But the phrase has a life of its own among fundamentalist Christians. Ignoring the comma in their beloved KJV, they take MYSTERY BABYLON (and they always capitalize it) to be the name of the ancient Babylonian religion created by Semiramis to trick her subjects into worshiping her rather than Yahweh, which flourishes today in the Catholic Church, and which the anti-Christ is going to any second turn into the official theocratic government of the United States, incorporating us into the Novus Ordo Saeclorum or New World Order. If anyone knows enough about ancient Near Eastern Religion or New Testament Studies to find this idea ridiculous (or knows that the motto on the back of the US dollar Bill means the US dates treaties according to the Year of the United States rather than AD), well, you're just part of the demonic conspiracy to cover up the truth and oppress Real True Christians; in other words, you're part of MYSTERY BABYLON. In any case, the inherent dignity of the term recommended it to Malkhos as a suitable name for an obscure bath appliance.
No wonder my mother-in-law was offended. Nevertheless, one day a box arrived in the mail, and Malkhos pronounced: "Mystery Babylon lies therein!" And so it was. After letting it sit around for a week or so, I finally inflated the thing and figured I'd try it, having grown tired of spending all the baby's bath time trying to keep him from killing himself.
It fit well enough. A bit tight, but it works. So I was grateful. Malkhos, however, phoned his mother and when she answered, he said, "He's ensconced in the walls of Mystery Babylon!" She squawked a bit and then I took the phone and thanked her.
Even so, that's what we call the thing now, even Andrew and Madeline.
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| From LJ |
I happened to mention this to my mother-in-law, which brings me to habit two. She is a compulsive buyer. So one day, I get this message my cell phone: "Rita, this is Mary. You need to tell Malkhos to stop yelling at me just because I bought something for the baby!" Then she hung up.Later, I asked him about it. Apparently, she had called him to tell him she'd made a purchase; namely, something for me to bathe the baby in. The conversation went something like this. She said she had bought something she was not well able to describe that was supposed to fit into the bathtub, but, although the dimensions of the thing must have been printed in the catalog from which she ordered it, she had told us nothing about it so that we could match the dimensions (or not) to the actual tub. Malkhos pointed out that this mystery could well be completely useless and moreover, since it seemed to have walls, he referred to it as Mystery Babylon. This is what must been what offended her and prompted her to leave the aforesaid message on my cell phone.Now this odd phrase occurs in the book of Revelation at 17:5. It describes the great whore who has written on her forehead, "mysterion, Babulon h megale, h meter ton pornon." This means something like: she has written on her forehead a riddle, [and the text of the riddle is] Babylon the Great, the mother of Harlots. The mysterion is that Babylon is used as a symbol for Rome, since the purpose of the book is to denounce the Roman Empire as an evil, tyrannical state, something Roman authorities might have objected to if said openly. But the phrase has a life of its own among fundamentalist Christians. Ignoring the comma in their beloved KJV, they take MYSTERY BABYLON (and they always capitalize it) to be the name of the ancient Babylonian religion created by Semiramis to trick her subjects into worshiping her rather than Yahweh, which flourishes today in the Catholic Church, and which the anti-Christ is going to any second turn into the official theocratic government of the United States, incorporating us into the Novus Ordo Saeclorum or New World Order. If anyone knows enough about ancient Near Eastern Religion or New Testament Studies to find this idea ridiculous (or knows that the motto on the back of the US dollar Bill means the US dates treaties according to the Year of the United States rather than AD), well, you're just part of the demonic conspiracy to cover up the truth and oppress Real True Christians; in other words, you're part of MYSTERY BABYLON. In any case, the inherent dignity of the term recommended it to Malkhos as a suitable name for an obscure bath appliance.
No wonder my mother-in-law was offended. Nevertheless, one day a box arrived in the mail, and Malkhos pronounced: "Mystery Babylon lies therein!" And so it was. After letting it sit around for a week or so, I finally inflated the thing and figured I'd try it, having grown tired of spending all the baby's bath time trying to keep him from killing himself.
It fit well enough. A bit tight, but it works. So I was grateful. Malkhos, however, phoned his mother and when she answered, he said, "He's ensconced in the walls of Mystery Babylon!" She squawked a bit and then I took the phone and thanked her.
Even so, that's what we call the thing now, even Andrew and Madeline.
