Suite Madeleine

[porphyry]

This week on Thursday, A. went with his aunt and uncle to Chicago. He was excited to go because he would be seeing dinosaurs (at the Field Museum that houses the famous tyrannosaurus rex, Sue, which actually wound up frightening him a bit; he would only stand behind her because of her big teeth). While Malkhos and I miss him terribly—it always seems so strange when he’s not around—we looked forward to the children-made noise levels and general confusion being cut in half.

We have since reassessed that A. contributes by fifty percent to the chaos. Probably, it’s more like twenty-five percent. M. manages the rest all by herself. The following chronicle demonstrates a typical day with her:


1.Mashed banana all over carpet.
2.Removed diaper and/or Pull-Up twice, so far, in 45 minutes.
3.Ran around bare-assed for 30 minutes while Mme. Malkhos was trying to get ready for work.
4.Threw trains in a fit of temper, then cried because the trains had boo-boos.
5.Refused to eat lunch; begged for Malkhos’ lunch instead, whining until he traded with her.
6.Demanded repeated changes of DVD (between Thomas and Little People); grabbed and handled DVD knowing this causes her father to have panic attack.
7.Opened refrigerator door and destroyed tomato by plunging her fingers into it.
8.Refused to put right arm in right sleeve of coat; oriented her arms so the coat would be backwards.
9.Later, refused to remove coat in the house.
10.Pulled slat off exterior dryer vent. Good thing Mme. Malkhos is good with her hands; was able to fix it.
11.Buried hosta with mud.
12.Opened refrigerator door and stole maraschino cherry from fruit cocktail; ate cherry while hands were covered with mud.
13.Scattered neatly raked piles of leaves to the four winds.
14.Refused to get into car seat. Had to be bribed with French fries.
15.Had to be pinned down to get shoes on.
16.Stole Mme. Malkhos’ shoe. Ran off with it.
17.Peeled more Christmas window clings off windows. Is now pulling chairs around the house to aid her in this.
18.During dinner out with her grandparents, attempted to take dinner under table to eat it; spread some of it on the seat of her chair instead. Grandparents interpreted behavior as “good” because, “She laughed happily and she’s just so darn cute.” (Amazing the way one’s parents change when they become grandparents.)
19.Took fourteen ornaments off Christmas tree.
20.Refused to put on nightgown. Had to be bribed with M&Ms.
21.Refused to get hair brushed. Had to be bribed with M&Ms.
22.Mme. Malkhos found, yet again, another apple in the fruit bowl with one bite taken out of it. Bite clearly made by small teeth.
23.Signed Malkhos out of his e-mail.
24.Left numerous drawers open in her wake.
25.Managed to find and take out crayons which her mother thought were well-hidden and which the child can use only under close supervision; Mme. Malkhos intercepted swiftly given one previous episode of writing on walls with the red one.
26.Attempted to knock bric-a-brac off shelves with empty Christmas paper tube, alternating attempts to bonk her father on the head with it instead, cackling evilly while she did it.
27.Made up for it all by asking to be picked up, snuggling into my neck and giving me kisses.

Comments

[leopold-paula-b.livejournal.com]

sounds (and looks, thanks for the picture) adorable, but am i happy to be childless!

[benicek.livejournal.com]

Oh God. I'm going to buy a ball and chain for my baby daughter.

[benicek.livejournal.com]

....tastefully painted to resemble a Christmas bauble, of course.

[leopold-paula-b.livejournal.com]

HAHAHA! that's brilliant! (i love that kind of hidden violence. like punishing someone by stroking his hair - because one knows that he hates it.)

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

Well, yes, get a nice ball and chain.

You know, I think all of this depends wholly upon the child's temperament. Whereas A. has an inborn sense of caution and calmness--for example, he walks sensibly from point A to B; M. either runs or hops, insisting she's a bunny--M. is exactly the opposite--extraordinarily strong-willed, independent, thrill-seeking. And they've both always been like this from infancy. Perhaps your daughter will be more on the calmer end of the spectrum.

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

Its not conducive to research.

[malkhos.livejournal.com]

Then you concur with A.'s dour assessment, "Put her in jail!"

Suite Madeleine

[myopicdream.livejournal.com]

Wow! She's gotten so tall and so beautiful! She hardly looks like a baby anymore! Sounds like she's a handful, I can't wait to experience that age :)