Beowulf

[porphyry]

Most of us had to read “Beowulf” in our teens, struggling through the 1,000-year-old ramblings of some anonymous author.

Well, leave it to 3-D special effects and computer imagery to make this epic poem palatable.
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The name “Beowulf” surely will inspire painful memories of high-school English class and pangs of dread.
(this one was accompanied by a photo of Angelina Jolie trying out for the remake of Goldfinger wearing only a pair of six inch spike heels: Grendel’s mother, evidently)

These are the lead paragraphs in the reviews of the Beowulf film in our two local newspapers. Note first the complete disappearance of the paragraph: every sentence is offset as a seperate paragraph; and this continues throughout both reviews. Second, note the substitution of placing the title of a work of literature in quotation marks for italicization. Finally, note the bizarre use of hyphens in both pieces. I suppose Beowulf is not the only thing that filled the authors with dread in their English classes.

Who is this aimed at? Who is this 'we' they mention? Who would hate Beowulf? Certainly not us. That was the only thing my Baptist-trained English teacher could not trample the joy out of. Mde. Malkhos actually learned Old English for the express purpose of reading Beowulf. We are not being well served by our papers. It does no good to complain. I’ve actually written in about the film reviews in the past, only to be told they have to cater to the mass audience. No risk of educating them instead, I suppose.