I saw the message you put on Jewitchery for this...and I'm glad I followed the link!
The mythology of Baal is something I've wanted to look into for a long time, but have not had the time yet (nor the knowledge of where to look). Having read what you've put up here thus far, I'm reminded of a good bit of gnostic cosmology/anthropology, and also of Baal being in a similar role to Dionysus in Orphic cosmology. It's fantastic stuff, and I think you've done a splendid job with it!
[I'm also reminded of something I wrote a number of years back--no real research like yours went into it, and a bit of New Agey syncretism is present in much of it, but it would bear comparison nonetheless; if you'd like to look at it, it can be found at: http://www.liminalityland.com/midrashkelev.htm ]
Just a few other things--a couple of typographical errors (I'm both a copy editor and slightly dyslexic, so things like this really throw me when I see them...I'm not being critical, I just want this to be as fantastic as it could be), which I'll list below by section heading and number, where possible:
3. Prince Yamm... 3rd line "completed the his realm" should be either "the" or "his"
The Thunderbolt called to life... 4th line "Lord Thunder, the Charioteer, of the"--I think the comma after "Charioteer" should either be after the next bit, or taken out altogether 5th line "that me may"--the "me" should be "he"
5. Then Yamm... 10th line "cry our for our blessing" should be "cry out"
6. ...the right time to sow 1st line "to mankind though his angel" should be "through"
Also, while I notice that there is a lot of "formulaic language" for this sort of narrative, and a lot of it reads like direct translation from ancient languages I've encountered (Egyptian, Greek and Roman texts/inscriptions), there are bits where some of the language is a little too cliche for my own tastes...in the "right time to sow" section, the phrase "the things that were, of the things that are, and of things to come" sounded a little too much like several bits of the first "Lord of the Rings" film to me; yes, it's a common phrase, but is there a way that it can be said that is less stereotyped?
However, these minor suggestions are no indication that enjoyment in reading the piece was lacking for me; it's fantastic, and I eagerly look forward to more (and to seeing it in print somewhere!)!
no subject
The mythology of Baal is something I've wanted to look into for a long time, but have not had the time yet (nor the knowledge of where to look). Having read what you've put up here thus far, I'm reminded of a good bit of gnostic cosmology/anthropology, and also of Baal being in a similar role to Dionysus in Orphic cosmology. It's fantastic stuff, and I think you've done a splendid job with it!
[I'm also reminded of something I wrote a number of years back--no real research like yours went into it, and a bit of New Agey syncretism is present in much of it, but it would bear comparison nonetheless; if you'd like to look at it, it can be found at:
http://www.liminalityland.com/midrashkelev.htm ]
Just a few other things--a couple of typographical errors (I'm both a copy editor and slightly dyslexic, so things like this really throw me when I see them...I'm not being critical, I just want this to be as fantastic as it could be), which I'll list below by section heading and number, where possible:
3. Prince Yamm...
3rd line "completed the his realm" should be either "the" or "his"
The Thunderbolt called to life...
4th line "Lord Thunder, the Charioteer, of the"--I think the comma after "Charioteer" should either be after the next bit, or taken out altogether
5th line "that me may"--the "me" should be "he"
5. Then Yamm...
10th line "cry our for our blessing" should be "cry out"
6. ...the right time to sow
1st line "to mankind though his angel" should be "through"
Also, while I notice that there is a lot of "formulaic language" for this sort of narrative, and a lot of it reads like direct translation from ancient languages I've encountered (Egyptian, Greek and Roman texts/inscriptions), there are bits where some of the language is a little too cliche for my own tastes...in the "right time to sow" section, the phrase "the things that were, of the things that are, and of things to come" sounded a little too much like several bits of the first "Lord of the Rings" film to me; yes, it's a common phrase, but is there a way that it can be said that is less stereotyped?
However, these minor suggestions are no indication that enjoyment in reading the piece was lacking for me; it's fantastic, and I eagerly look forward to more (and to seeing it in print somewhere!)!