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[personal profile] porphyry
 The other day I was at my mother's house, cleaning out what little there is there worth salvaging. There was a phone call, with a very bad connection. The caller did not identify himself but demanded to speak to my mother by name. He had a very strong accent. Somewhere from the Afro-Caribbean part of the British Empire. I can't say where for sure, but some place like Nigeria or Ghana, to judge from what hears on the BBC. Certainly it is not an accent one frequently hears in St. Louis.

After we'd established that my mother was dead and that I was her son and that we shared the same last name (for some reason I was not anxious to give my first name). He announced that the purpose of his call was to announce my mother had won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes For this reason, the call was being monitored by the FBI. Within minutes, my Nigerian friend, a UPS driver with the actual papers, and two FBI agents would be at my house with a check for 2.5 Million dollars and a new Mercedes. As my mother's sole heir, it was all mine. All I had to do was give him my full name and Social Security Number.

I said, " That's very nice, but you surely understand why I might be suspicious this is a phishing scheme?"

"Yes, we live in evil times. But only give me the number and the money and the Mercedes will be yours."

"OK. Why don't you drive on over here, and as soon as the FBI men show me their badges, and I call the FBI and verify the numbers, as well as the fact that agents are now assigned to provide private security for Publisher's Clearing House, then I'll give you the number."

"Well if you don't want the money, I'll just give it to the next person on the list."

"You do that."

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